It has been a long time since I shared anything. My life’s journeys (“Rihal” in Arabic) has taken me into unexpected pathways. As part of that journey I found myself incubated in a beautiful quiet town surrounded by nature. It wasn’t planned nor expected; but here I am surrendering to an incubation within the womb of nature, uncertainty, and darkness.
Somehow we associate darkness with evil, but in reality darkness can represent depth and mystery. Depth and mystery has always excited me. However this time I found myself lingering in the darkness longer than what used to be comfortable to me.
This uncharted journey has taken me into my psyche, my deepest wounds and my farfetched secrets. It didn’t take much to initiate the journey; A loving man holding space for me and a life with minimal activities were more than enough.
I miss my busy corporate life. Not only do I miss the people, the co-creation and the exhilarating dreams but I also miss the quick pace.
The quick pace of life can be a blessing. It gives us a leeway to postpone doing our own internal work and to push aside our feelings.
I welcomed this journey at the beginning. The new insights about myself were thrilling. I was able to touch places within me that I forgot they existed or maybe never knew they did. However, the fun started to fade away as the journey deepened. Childhood wounds, ancestral patterns and feminine wounds started surfacing. With every layer that surfaced, more pain came into the light.
It is said that it takes 90 seconds to process an emotion. Well, these are fresh emotions, emotions that were just triggered. However, If you are like me, an expert in pushing your emotions away and hiding them into a place that even you can’t get in-touch with, I have bad news for you! When it’s time for those emotions to surface, they come like a tsunami.
The irony is that every time I tried to create a distraction, the external world rejected me and forced me to go inward for more discovery and for more healing.
As my journey deepened, it became very difficult to engage with the external world. I realized I was hibernating. Even when I tried to force myself to become more active, my body got sick and pulled me back into my cave.
However, the tools for my deeper inner work kept showing up effortlessly. A book would appear, a friend would recommend a life-changing workshop or a casual conversation with a stranger would lead me to discover a pattern that has been repeating in my life unconsciously.
Deep healing work takes its own path and doesn’t have a timeframe. You can only surrender, learn how to be vulnerable and have the courage to show up in spite of the confusion.
February started with different energy. I was ready to leave my cave and to engage fully with the external world. I even volunteered to give a couple of workshops.
Interestingly, Corona Virus happened!
Slowly the world began closing on itself and it started hibernating. The whole world is on-hold now and not only me! Earth found a way to slow down the buzzing of humanity and no matter how much we resist it, it is taking its time before it allows us to go back into our normal indifferent buzzing.
Instead of allowing frustration to creep in, I found myself surrendering to a deeper listening. This time not only as an individual but also as part of the collective.
If we go beyond the first level of the crisis – the health and economic level- what will we find?
If we slow down and sit with what’s happening, what does it mean to us as individuals?
Is it a time to incubate and to question? Is it a time to go internal and reflect about our inner realities and the collective?
Did the Earth give us a break that we needed? Or did it decide to give itself a break to breath?
According to scientists, the pandemic helped in reducing the pollution and greenhouse gas emissions while the countries go through the shutdown.
Is Earth trying to slow down the extinction that our civilization is racing towards?
Did we really need a disease to realize that we are one and that no matter how much we try to isolate ourselves under the masks of religion, nationalities, money and other dividing masks, we are in reality very connected?
With time, I learned to recognize that in my personal life every major traumatic event had different layers with the deepest layers being an opportunity for healing.
Awareness of the deeper meaning can ease the journey. It might not make it less painful, but it allows us to know that it’s not a random path of pain and suffering. Awareness will allow us to observe the themes and understand the patterns so that we don’t waste our pain and keep repeating the same patterns in the future.
What is the symbolic meaning of Corona virus especially that this time it isn’t hitting one part of the world but rather almost every corner of the world?
Why is Earth calling on all of us to halt the movement and giving us the opportunity to go inward? What is trying to capture our attention? Is there an old structure that is dying? Is there something new trying to emerge? Is this a collective death that will be followed by a collective rebirth or is it just a random act of nature with no purpose?
Slow down, stop and listen. Allow the silence to fill you. There is no-where to go and probably nothing much to do at the moment. Listen as an individual and as part of the collective.
Can you hear what is being whispered?
If not, slow down even more and listen again, keep listening and allow the time. From my personal experience, you will hear the whisper if you have the courage and the patience to keep listening.